East St Poet:Side Effects of Envy

I am an audacious, fervent, galvanizing poet from East St. Louis. Delivering poems that speak to my soul, in hopes that it will reach someone else’s. “A poet is a liar, who always tells the truth” -Jean Cocteau

Johnny Savannah is an American Poet from East Saint Louis IL. Took keep up with more of his work visit him on all social media at East St Poet.


Side Effects of Envy

There I was trapped in arms to my depression,

With it’s hand tightly clenched around my neck, I was suffocating,

I was consumed with this obsession to be better than the next,

Always comparing my life to those who I thought had the best,

You know the best looks the best brain the best personality,

Not realizing I was warping my own reality,

I started to down myself for others accomplishments,

Which led to me having no confidence,

Which pushed me to the opposite of opulence, Feeling incompetent,

So I started moving anxiously trying to accomplish shit,

Wanting to prove myself worth just to fall short as a consequent,

Completely ignoring my strengths,

Yet magnify my weaknesses,

Whole time not knowing my strength is what my weakness is,

I was so distraught I couldn’t even see this shit,

Just this once promising child turned ludacris,

So I started to embrace bad habits because what’s the point,

Going to sleep early waking up late drinking smoking like what’s a joint,

I started to alienate myself from those who truly love me,

When all I really wanted for them to do was hug me,

To tell me I was progressing all I was doing wasn’t for nothing,

To tell me to keep pushing to never lay off and one day all my efforts will pay off,

I wonder why these weren’t the words that they’d say to me,

Then I realized I can tell myself these things,

Follow it up with action and you know keep up the grind,

I could change my whole outlook on life cuz it was all in my mind,

How come I can see them away of thinking so put my entire life on trial,

Well rather than suffocate in depression I chose from there on to live of my life with a smile,

By: East.St.Poet


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